The Odds Have it

This is a long one. I managed to fly through a couple of books, but this post is unusual in that I spend most of it recommending other, better versions of the topics at hand. 

#42 – After Camelot – J. Randy Taraborrelli
Recommended by: MK

             

          It was a gray, dreary, and unremarkable Saturday afternoon in Hyannis Port.

I never really cared about Camelot. My parents were of the Kennedy generation and I never once heard them mention that family, good or bad. As such, I didn’t have much of an interest in them or their lives. I knew the basics, I mean, I am American, but I couldn’t have drawn a family tree or named more than a few of them off the top of my head. So an entire book about them post-JFK and RFK was not high on my reading list.

Unfortunately, after reading it, I don’t think it should be high on yours either. My first problem was the author wrote a book about the Kennedy family pre-1968 and seemed to think that if you read this one, you must have read that one. I didn’t. Which means the assassination of JFK and the murder of RFK are just breezed past. It was an terrible editorial misstep that informed the entire rest of the book because you cannot base an entire family history on how they overcome grief, how they based their lives on service, and how they always, always, always were in the shadow of those great men without actually talking about those great men and how they died! A chapter on each of them, with their terrible deaths included, would have gone a long way toward filling the emotional center of the book, which I found sorely missing.

My other problem with the book was the “Oh, woe is them!” feeling. Yes, many people in the family died of cancer. When your family is as big as the Kennedy clan, and when cancer is so prevalent, statistically, I think they were about average. Yes, many of them died in small plane crashes – which, by the way, they flew in constantly. Again, statistically, when you fly in a small airplane 10 times more often than average, your death in a plane crash will increase. It is still sad. It is still terrible. There was no Kennedy curse. There was only the law of averages. 

The central theme of the book seemed to be that everyone was always grieving, trying to just survive, bonding as a family, and trying to be of service. There was no dirt. It does not appear that anyone very close to the family actually sat down to be interviewed for this book, including any Kennedy. The author pulled all of his punches. He didn’t disclose anything that wasn’t already public knowledge. It was all very polite, which also, unfortunately, made it all rather boring.

If you really want to know what being in the Kennedy clan was like, I highly suggest you read Carole Radziwell’s memoir, What Remains. It is about the death of her beloved husband and while I normally avoid cancer books, like, well cancer, this is quite honestly one of the best books, let alone memoirs, I have ever read. It’s beautiful and fascinating and interesting and really gives you a sense of what losing a loved one is like. It also gives incredible insight into the Kennedy family because Carol and her husband were best friends with John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Caroline Bessette Kennedy. It is dishy, but not in an invasive way and it presents everyone in real lighting, not in the most flattering one.   

#44 Wifey – Judy Blume
Recommended by: BD

                

           Sandy sat up in bed and looked at the clock.

As a child, I read every Judy Blume book I could get my hands on – and my child has done the same. As a tween, she taught me all sorts of things. I learned about masturbation in Deenie, about sex in Forever, and about grief in Tiger Eyes. In fact, I loved the last book so much I wore tiger eye jewelry for years. I haven’t let my kid near those books yet, but when the time comes, I can only hope she learns that sort of stuff in a compassionate, understanding way – but probably not from Judy.

Look, some books age well. Others don’t. I’m sure Super Fudge is still relevant, but in this day and age, Wifey reads like a down market episode of Mad Men. A frustrated housewife in the early 70s has a few affairs during one summer when her kids are away at camp as she tries to figure out how she wound in a loveless marriage with a man who expects the same weekly meals, the same weekly sex, and values beauty before substance. Yawn. Maybe it was the stilted language, or maybe it the paper thin characterizations, but this book left me cold. Every man was made of straw. Every woman was a harpy.

Have you heard of the Bechdel test? Passing it requires two female characters sharing a scene (in a movie, but I think it is equally relevant in a book), talking about anything other than a man. The book failed that test. Miserably. Even worse, I don’t think anyone in the book every talked to anyone else openly and honestly. It was just so depressing. But worst of all, it was really dated. This book is not a classic. It is of a very specific time and place and that place is, unfortunately, the 70s. No one wants to go back to the 70s, least of all with the writer of Freckle Juice. There are literally dozens of books about this same exact type of life, written by much better authors. I'd start with Jennifer Weiner and work your way outward from there. 

#46 – High Fidelity - Nick Hornby
Recommended by: BD

          

      My desert island, all-time, top five most memorable split-ups, in chronological order:

This was a re-read and I liked it exactly the same amount the second as I did the first time. It’s a very cute, very British book. The guy is sort of a wanker, the whole vintage record shop (this was set during the time of vinyl and mix tapes) is all rather twee, and honestly, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about him or his girlfriend or their problems. Sure, it was generally amusing, but if you want to read a book about a wanker who finds a way to screw up his life through apathy, then read About a Boy by the same author.  Or if you want to read a book with endless musical references, mix tapes, and lost love, then I recommend Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffeld. Both books are superior to this one.  

#47 – Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban
Recommended by: BD

Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways.

This is the best of the Potter books in terms of smart, tight storytelling, clear characters, and a great plot. If you haven’t read Harry Potter yet, well, what on earth is wrong with you? And if you tell me you have only seen the movies, I will cease being your friend. These aren’t children’s books. They just happen to be books that children enjoy. Rowling is a master of setting up far-reaching events. A throwaway line about a vanishing cabinet in the second book becomes a major plot point in the sixth book. A casual mention of a sporting event in the third becomes a major set piece for the fourth. Characters make choices you can believe because they aren’t made in a vacuum. These books may be about magic, but in the end, Rowling always shows you how the rabbit got into the hat. My daughter is addicted to them. She has destroyed all of my first printings. She plays Harry Potter trivia games like it is her job and if she ever finds out about the Harry Potter theme parks, she will be out hawking lemonade at every major, minor, and rookie event at the local high school to earn the money to go. I actively encourage her addition. I mean hell, it’s better than Twilight, right? If you haven’t dived into the Harry Potter universe yet, I highly recommend that you get right on it. If you prefer audio books, the Jim Dale versions are superb.  Hogwarts is waiting! 

Unsolved Mysteries

Do you know how some people are just effortlessly cool? Always really into odd, esoteric stuff, can always seem to find the most random, yet perfect quotes and references, and is always ready with a suggestion of something you have never, ever once heard of and yet, immediately must read/watch/buy? He had an odd predilection in high school to practically inhale full bags of Stella D’Oro breakfast treats and a love of Bob Ross that could not be explained (and yet made cool somehow), the person who recommended this book is that guy. I haven’t seen him in oh, about twenty years, but when he e-mails me with a suggestion for something, I always, always pay attention. You should do so now.  

#41 – My Dark Places – James Ellroy
Recommended by: JS

                Some kids found her.

This book was so hard boiled you could have dyed it for Easter. There are few adjectives or adverbs. The language is brutally simplistic and the sentence structure is that of a Dick and Jane book, if you like your primary reading to be about murder. The paragraphs are short. The sentences are shorter. There was almost no dialogue. The language, like the subject matter, is intense and vulgar. This is a dark book about dark people who did dark things.

I sort of loved it.

I haven’t read Ellroy’s well-known fiction such as LA Confidential or The Black Dahlia so I never would have picked up his autobiography. However, I think it is safe to say that this isn’t your typical navel-gazing. When he was ten, his mother was murdered. By his teens, he was on his own entirely, and by his 20s, he was a homeless drug addict. He spent all his time concocting stories in his head. Eventually, he cleaned up his act and turned the stories into books. The stories were his salvation. The stories were his best self, his only way out. In his 40s, he focused on trying to solve his mother’s murder.

It’s a hell of a book. Did I mention it was dark? Every sentence is blunt and hits you in the gut. There is no flowery language to soften the blows. The topic is hard so the language is hard. Yet the insights into character, while brief, were excellent. The location is described with few words, but all of them are well placed. You know where you are, you know who you are with, and you know why they are acting in such a way – all with the fewest descriptive phrases possible. It’s quite an achievement. This book reads like fiction, so if you like your books pulpy, full of crime, seedy streets, and the scum of the earth, then this book has your name all over it. (That last sentence is even more bizarre if you read it in a Levar Burton-Reading Rainbow voice.)

Sneezing on Death's Door

Yes, I am bouncing around a bit in terms of numbering, but I'm hunting down the last handful of books and so I must read out of order until then. 

#38 - The Great Influenza – John M. Barry
Recommended by: KD

I actually loaned this book out the minute I finished reading it. The dental hygienist who had just finished my daughter’s appointment was really interested, so I handed it right off, totally forgetting that I usually refer back to books when I review them. Ah well. Instead of a first sentence, I will give you part of the book blurb:

It killed more people in twenty-four months than AIDS killed in twenty-four years, more in a year than the Black Death killed in a century. 

Another quote:

One cannot know with certainty, but if the upper estimate of the death toll is true as many as 8 to 10 percent of all young adults then living may have been killed by the virus.

Influenza, just influenza single-handedly lowered the life expectancy rate by a full decade. The mind boggles. It really does. In the span of a few weeks, it absolutely decimated Philadelphia. The city went from vibrant to a ghost town in the span of 24 hours. The streets were empty. School, church, any type of public meeting and all shopping districts were closed. People who were perfectly healthy at dawn were dead by dusk. Can you imagine the terror of waking up and wondering if you and everyone you loved would be dead by bedtime? And doing it over and over again, every single day, week after week? This book was horrifying.

Was it well written? Eh. It kept me interested in the human side of the battle, but I was far less interested in the specifics of the search for the cure, but I think others would find their interests switched. Apparently, some people are claiming the science isn’t perfectly explained or correct, but I think anyone who can pick that up isn’t the intended audience. This book is for the civilian, not the scientist. It is a really neat look at what caused the great influenza outbreak, who was trying to fight it, who was making it worse, and what the long-range side effects of it were. This is not the book for the germaphobe. It is not for the hypochondriac. It is a good book about a really terrifying time in our history that is almost completely ignored. (Oh, and also, it highlights how insane the pro-WW I effort became in terms of completely eradicating our civil liberties.) 

Four Score and Seven Years Ago

Housekeeping note – Stephen King’s The Stand is officially off the list. I had to do a bit of editing recently when I realized one sneaky bastard had gotten eight different books on the list. EIGHT! He and I negotiated down to three, with one to be read at a later date. The King book is gone for a different reason – page length. The person who recommended today’s three-pound barbell of historical non-fiction also recommended two other books of similar length. I’ve decided in the face of this, a restriction has to be put in place. I can’t spend 3,000 pages on one person, no matter how much fun it is to publicly make fun of his wife’s musical tastes. Onward!

#40 – Team of Rivals – Doris Kearns Goodwin
Recommended by: KD

On May 18, 1960, the day when the Republican Party would nominate its candidate for president, Abraham Lincoln was up early.

All of my knowledge of the Civil War comes from fiction and movies. To say that I was not in the least interested in reading the ultimate biography of Abraham Lincoln and his cabinet is to understate, in the extreme, my dread in having to read this hefty tome. The only book I have ever read about Lincoln had the phrase “vampire hunger” in its title. Civil war history is just not my jam.

Once again, I find myself mistaken.

This book was excellent and that had everything to do with the writing. I cannot imagine the work involved in spending an entire decade perusing every document under the sun to get a firmer understanding of Lincoln and all of the people who surrounded them. The bibliography is almost 200 single spaced pages! But what is stunning is how deftly all of these facts and figures, quotes, and letters are interwoven into one cohesive story. I knew nothing about the members of government during the Civil War. This book allowed me to follow, remember, and get to know a cast of thousands. This book requires a diligent reader. It takes hundreds of pages to even get to Lincoln’s nomination as president, let alone his first and second term. It is really a stunning achievement in stating fact in a way as to make it as enjoyable as fiction. You really get the sense of what Washington was like, what Lincoln was like, and how his brilliance as a statesman, his lack of ego, and his patient determination to do the great things that led to the 13^th Amendment.

However, what I found most surprising was how little slavery had to do with the Civil War. Or, to be more specific, the human rights aspect of slavery was far less important than the politics. I was also surprised that political maneuvering was as much a part of campaigns in the 1800s as it is now. This book takes a while to plow through, which being 754 pages long, it should. If you are a fan of Lincoln, or the Civil War, or politics, I really do think you should take the time to enjoy this one. It will increase your knowledge immeasurably (as well as your arm muscles). As for myself, I think my interest in the topic is fully sated. However, this book is a master class in how to bring non-fiction to life and fully deserves every accolade and award is has won, including the Pulitzer. 

Schadenfreude

The person who recommended these books is an acquaintance. He is a good friend of my husband, but I’ve met him only a handful of times. From what I can glean of the life he lives on Facebook, he enjoys the finer things in life. His liquor cabinet rivals that of licensed bars. When he goes to concerts or sporting events, he gets the good seats. When he cooks, it is gourmet. He is the only person I have ever met who keeps a babysitter on a handsome retainer so that he always has first pick of date nights. So, I find it fascinating that he recommended two books about the worst possible conditions in which people can live. 

#36 – Angle of Repose – Wallace Stegner
Recommended by: JM

Now I believe they will leave me alone

This was one of a handful of books on the list of which I was completely unaware. I had heard neither the title nor author. Even the back cover gave away very little. The story unfolds in two parts. The first, in modern day, is the tale of a man confined to a wheelchair who spends all of his time trying to understand the history of his grandparents.  The other tale is that of his grandparents, early settlers in the American West. I know absolutely nothing about that time or place. My choice of historical fiction always involves a queen getting her head chopped off, so the mining towns of California, Colorado, and Idaho in the late 1800s were a complete mystery to me. Would I really be interested in a story about a cultured artist who married a strong, silent mining engineer and tried to carve out a life for themselves and their children out of hope, grit, and sheer determination?

As it turns out, that answer was yes. I found their life fascinating and incredibly difficult. They lived in shacks in remote locations for years on end. They did not have an epic love story – she thought she married beneath her and he agreed. She wrote novels, he barely spoke. They spent years apart and neither seemed to mind all that much. Yet, for all of that, you couldn’t help but root for the two of them to make it.

Which is why the last few chapters of the book are so frustrating. Throughout the book, you are aware that the two lovers do live a long life together, eventually settling down to raise their children and grandchildren. Throughout the book, you learn about Susan Burling and her husband Oliver Ward through letters and other chapters told through her point of view. However, just when the story reaches its apex and everything comes to a thunderous head, the author pulls back and tells it all in fragments, in theories and possibilities, as told by the wheelchair-bound grandson. I felt cheated. I spent 500 pages reading about the everyday lives of these people in great detail, yet at turning point, the moment that changed everything, we get barely a glance. Even worse, the aftermath is ignored almost entirely and we fast forward several decades to a denouement that is rushed and almost ridiculous. I would have much preferred to skip a few chapters in the middle to get a few more chapters at the end. This was the literary equivalent of sitting down to a well-set table, enjoying drinks, apps, pasta, and veg, and just when you are about to enjoy the meat, the waiter rushes over, hands you a little index card with a few choice adjectives about how well the meat would have tasted, gives you a mint, and rushes you out the door. Where’s the beef? Where is the rest of the story? UGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

#37 – Into Thin Air – Jon Krakauer
Recommended by: JM

Straddling the top of the world, one foot in China the other in Nepal, I cleared the ice from my oxygen mask, hunched a shoulder against the wind, and stared absently into the vastness of Tibet.

This book has been on my shelf for years, but for whatever reason, I never read it. I’m so glad I finally did, but dear God and his baby lord Jesus, what the hell is wrong with some people?

I always thought mountain climbing was a slow, meditative, solidary thing. You put one foot in front of the other, step after step, until you reached the top. Once there, you are a clear mind and body, maybe a wee bit tired, but absolutely exhilarated at your accomplishment.

Um. No. Not even close.  

It takes a team of people, weeks of prep, and the only thing you are thinking once you get to the top, if you are able to think at all, is how hard it is going to be to get back down. You are forced to make life and death decisions about where to step and how far to travel on one-third your normal oxygen supply – so you are basically punch drunk and stupid. Most people can’t walk a straight line on a flat surface while drunk. On Everest, you have to climb up and down a knife’s edge with the equivalent mental capacities of a college kid on his first pub crawl. It is colder than you could ever imagine, you haven’t eaten or slept properly in days, and you are practically blind due to solar radiation and ice crystallization. Your feet are raw, any part of you that is exposed is probably frostbitten, and there is a bunch of people you may or may know, of varying abilities and personalities, some hindering, some helping, with you every step of the way.

That is what climbing Everest is like. And people do this for fun! FUN! Back in 1996, when this book was written, it cost $65,000 to join a team to climb to the top. Most people never reach it. This team did, but of the six that reached the summit, only two made it out alive. Those bodies were left up on that mountain forever. This story is about the brutal and harrowing weeks that led up to the events that left so many dead, and the actions, reactions, and the small turns on the wheels of fate that caused it all to happen. With summer upon us, it is the absolutely perfect beach read. Your idyllic hot, sandy, blue setting will so contract that of the books that it will seem as if you are reading about a different planet. 

19 Sins and Counting

Here is my problem with the current news story surrounding the Duggar family and their son Josh.

What took so long?

In order for In Touch to ask for documents under the Freedom of Information Act, they had to know there were documents to find. If I, a casual viewer at best, knew about the “sin in the camp” several years ago, then you cannot tell me that TLC didn’t know about them when they first started airing specials about the Duggar clan. How did I hear about it? Message boards! I visited the now defunct website Television Without Pity every day. I watched a handful of the early shows about the family and wanted to know more, but I didn’t want it filtered through a haze of puff journalism. While message boards are often filled with trolls and haters, the best ones, run by firm moderators, are able to provide a lot of background information. For example, by the time Jon & Kate fell apart spectacularly in the public eye I was well aware of all the private shenanigans that had taken place. I’m not a private detective. I didn’t pore over microfiche. I don’t know the family or anyone associated with them. I just spent a few hours down the wormhole that is the Internet.

Several stories have emerged that provide a timeline of events. The crimes were committed in 2002 and 2003. In 2005, the first special about the Duggar family aired on Discovery Health. In 2006, while prepping an all-Duggar episode, the Oprah Winfrey Show was alerted to the history of molestation. That episode never aired and HARPO studios alerted the Department of Human Services. While Josh was under investigation by the police, Discovery chose to air three more specials about the Duggar family. Let’s be clear – they were actively filming the family while a member of the family was under active investigation for molestation.

The network knew.

By 2007, comments had started to crop up on several different message boards. Now, I don’t run a network. Hell, I can barely run a bath. But, if I DID run a network, I’d have a passel of interns whose entire job would be to monitor social media to keep track of what was being said about my shows. Do people like them? Why or why not? Publicity 101, right? I find it hard to believe that TLC did not have people tracking what was being said about their shows. There were only a few dozen sites that recapped shows and/or had message boards for shows such as 19 Kids and Counting. Television Without Pity was well-established and if I, a bored housewife with a couple of hours to kill and an interest in digging a little deeper could unearth this story, you cannot tell me with a straight face that the powers that be at TLC could not.  

The network knew.

Why did In Touch decide to release the information now? I’m sure it has absolutely nothing to do with outselling rival magazines People and Us, both of which have published multiple exclusives covers concerning the family. I’m sure it is all about the victims, right? Puh-lease. It’s all about the money. They busted the story wide open to increase their click-view rates, their page views, and their newsstand buys. It is the exact same reason TCL ignored the story entirely. They were looking a cash cow directly in the face! They didn’t care if the milk was sour. They only cared if the milk looked creamy and refreshing on camera. The Duggar family made for good TV. They have aired greater than 200 episodes about them. They have published three books. They have made countless appearances over the past decade. The big Christian family is big business and big money. What is a little incestuous molestation in the face of millions of dollars?

Everyone knew. 

This included the networks, the publishers, their church, their friends, and their family. 

Who helped the victims? The answer was no one, because it wasn’t in their best interest to do so.

Now the entire world knows. They are all claiming ignorance and pulling the show and firing Josh and yada, yada, yada. 

Who is helping the victims? 

The answer, unfortunately, still seems to be no one, because it isn't in their best interest to do so.

And that, my friends, is the worst crime of all. 

My Precious Melange

There are some basic tomes that anyone who calls themselves a fan of a certain genre should read. Today, I explain why two particular books fit the description of being a classic. 

#34 – The Hobbit – J.R.R. Tolkien

In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit.
           

When I was in high school, I dated a guy who was very proud of the fact that the only book he had ever read from start to finish was The Hobbit. Obviously, I thought he was insane and couldn’t believe that anyone would ever boast about only reading one book. In retrospect, I can understand why. This book has everything a teenage boy could want – epic adventures, no icky girls to mess it up, and lots of cool characters and scenes. Quite a lot happens in this book and while I have read it before, it was long before the first Lord of the Rings movie and I didn’t remember much of it. Now, with the characters from Peter Jackson’s storytelling foremost in my mind, it actually made keeping track of characters a bit easier.

I will say that the book is far more charming than the movies. In the movies, everything portends doom. The dwarves are very serious. Gandalf is to be feared, Bilbo is always in danger. Gollum is terrible in his wretchedness. But in the story, everything is much more lighthearted. Gandalf is merely odd, the dwarves are not as dutiful, Bilbo is not just along for the ride, and Gollum is merely another character in the story. The tone of the narration is of a tale told round a fire at night, so that it is folksy and warm. Everything in the movies was so dramatic and resounding. Everything in the book is much more colorful and interesting. I was much amused that my daughter, having already read it, was a fan. This really is a classic of fantasy and if you haven’t read it, you should do so immediately.

#35 – Dune – Frank Herbert

In the week before their departure to Arrakis, when all the final scurrying about had reached a nearly unbearable frenzy, an old crone came to visit the mother of the boy, Paul.

I read this back in high school as well and it pairs nicely with The Hobbit because it is also a classic, but of science fiction. It does what good sci-fi should do, set up a different world, in a different time, with laws of science that differ from our own. It takes its time setting up the premise and more time really allowing the characters to make the changes necessary to get them through the arc of the story, which truth be told, is actually pretty basic. A royal house falls and from it, a messiah arises.

What killed me in this book were the names of things. Kwisatz Haderach. Bene Gesserit. Feyd-Bautha. There were a million of these damn things and none of them could be sounded out properly in my head. Thankfully, the main character is Paul, but he is also Usal, and Maud’Dib, and all sorts of other things. I get that names have to be exotic sounding, but can they be spelled in such a way as to make sense too? It is a solid read, but you will find yourself rolling your eyes at the pretention of it all.