Broadway vs. Broad Street

As the Phillies and the Yankees get ready to play the World Series and I feel obligated to watch a series of games I have absolutely no interest in (beyond the singing of the National Anthem), I felt it was time to make my feelings on the subject clear.

You see, I’ve lived in a town where baseball is king. I lived in Boston and I lived there pre-2004. Opening day of the Red Sox season is practically a state-wide holiday. My husband I lived a short walk over the Charles and a few T-stops away from Fenway, so we became friendly with the Green Monster. We used to go to games the way other people went to the movies. During a summer when my husband travelled more than he was home, the sound of a baseball game on the TV was my constant companion and as soothing as a lullaby. I lived there when the Patriots’ won the Super Bowl and even then, when the team paraded down Beacon Street, there was more Red Sox merchandise on display than anything with the Flying Elvis on it.

The rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox is legendary. I have never attended an event in Boston where a sudden cheer of “Yankees Suck” didn’t roll through the crowd at least once. It did not matter the sport, the venue, the occasion, or the actual number of New Yorkers in attendance, if you were in Boston and you were in a crowd, someone would yell out “Yankees Suck” and everyone else would chime in for a few rounds.

Now with the “Amtrack” series starting (so called that by, well, Amtrack), I really couldn’t care less that my home team will win, I just want the Yankees to lose. But I am on a quest for the ultimate anti-Yankee t-shirt. Will I don a “Jesus Hates the Yankees” t-shirt? Well, no, most notably because the deity I worship is a bit busy with keeping the Four Horseman from taking over the world to worry about the World Series. Will I buy a “Phuck New York” tee?” Ah, no. I prefer my clothing to be spell-checked. But I am on the hunt for a shirt that aptly describes my overall ennui about the game itself while still describing my interest in the final outcome, and in the end, the classic “Yankees Suck” shirt might just have to do.